Friday, August 7, 2009

grizzly

I finally got my computer back!!!
So this weeks highlights/lowlights/mid-tones:
been gettin a healthy dose of golden girls ever since the battle with my intestines at colitis bog... two weeks ago.
um.. we have a rather big swirly hurricane heading this way. hopefully we wont get the brunt of it... but im preparing anyway.
*rubber boots.... check
*swim goggles for eye protection.... check
*costco pack of canned tuna... check
*hatches battened... check
and i think if it gets REAL windy... i will finally get a chance to become like mario. (you know when he gets the feather and can fly.. and you can make him glide downward while he uses his cape as a parachute) i've got this big black sheet i think i can tie to my wrists and ankles and i figure if i get one big jump i might be able to take off... i bet the natives will think im some sort of giant bat... they might try to spear me down because of the superstitions- wish me luck.
(i struggle with run-on sentences)
Also.. i think my identity has been kid-napped. odd things have been happening- for example: a random phone call to a person whom i havent seen or spoken to in YEARS bears the news that 'katy left her phone on our boat, we're in seafair... you were on her contact list". I hear this news through distant acquaintance to sister to me. hmm. i have my phone... and ive NEVER lost one.
Also, i found out that my car was not in fact legally mine. or registered. that was a fun one.
well, i guess whoever is trying to take my identity can have it.... as long as they pay my bills.

And yes, the tabloids are true.... i was forced to commandeer gavin rossdale's phone number. yes.. the gavin from the band BUSH, gwen stephani's husband... its a long story.. it wasnt my idea. started with a sandwich, small-talk, my nosey boss, and badda bing badda boom. (if this were middle school i might have puked in delight... well i still might...)

oooh! and i've been asked to round up wild beast-like chickens for an old lady!! of course i said yes! i have to find a net on the end of a stick and some good sturdy chicken-grippin-gloves. this task will require stealth, fortitude, and a cat-like instinct....
i dont have any of those... but i got my rubber boots! no chicken crap between these toes! no sir. My first thought was... what the heck am i supposed to do with em once i've caught them??? Of course my instinct was to put them in a milk crate and toss them into the bay... i mean thats how grandpa Paquet taught us to dispose of pesky birds. Somehow, i think the hippies would catch wind and there would be a lynching in the town square. (thats so ridiculous.... we dont even have a town square) Maybe i'll domesticate them and train them to ride my bike to the store and bring back sushi.
This is like my dream job.

well thats the latest instalment. for now!